A story about fear of failure in business
A client of mine, let’s call him Josh, was completely stuck.
He was the kind of guy who could talk about his goals all day long, but when it came time to take real steps toward them, he’d stall. He’d pass up chances for new clients in his business, put off talking to the people he wanted to connect with, and let great opportunities slip by—all while coming up with endless reasons why the timing wasn’t right or why it just wouldn’t work out.
It was easy for him to rationalize, but eventually, Josh had to admit a hard truth: “I think failing at anything really scares me.”
That was it, the fear that had been steering his decisions all along. This fear didn’t come from the outside world; it was deeply rooted inside him. But what does it mean to really fear failure?
What Fear of Failure Does
At its core, fear of failure often overlaps with a fear of rejection, criticism, or judgment from others. It can lead people to stall on their plans, come up with excuses, and even avoid promising opportunities simply because they’re afraid of what might happen if they try and fall short.
There’s a famous saying that goes, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we might win by fearing to attempt.” It’s the age-old truth that by fearing failure, we end up holding ourselves back from what could be.
When we let fear keep us from even trying, we shut ourselves off from growth. We never know what we might be capable of because we’ve put our potential on hold.
Feeling Trapped by Fear
The problem comes when you’re dissatisfied with how things are but feel too afraid to make any changes. It’s that feeling of wanting things to be different but not wanting to take the risk of putting yourself out there. This sense of being trapped can lead to frustration, low confidence, and even self-doubt.
Of course, there are times when it’s sensible to be cautious, like when the risks truly outweigh the benefits. But for people like Josh, whose lives have stalled from playing it safe for too long, even small, manageable risks can feel like mountains. His daily routine had become his safe zone, and breaking out of it felt almost impossible.
So, why are some people so paralyzed by fear of failure that they rarely test their potential?
Why We Fear Failure
The fear of failing isn’t just about the failure itself. It’s a mix of many experiences and beliefs. Here are some common reasons:
- Perfectionism: For some, if the first attempt isn’t flawless, it feels unbearable. But in reality, growth requires the willingness to face setbacks. Often, successful people are comfortable with both their wins and their losses.
- Negative experiences with criticism: People who’ve grown up with harsh criticism from family, friends, or teachers may start to believe that mistakes are unacceptable, which can lead to an intense fear of missteps.
- Self-worth tied to success: When someone’s sense of value is tied to outcomes, failure feels like a personal flaw instead of just a learning step.
- Painful memories of past failures: One particularly embarrassing or painful experience can create a fear of reliving that feeling, which keeps some people from attempting anything new.
- Misunderstanding confidence: True confidence isn’t about being sure you’ll succeed; it’s about believing you can handle whatever happens.
- Belief that success should be easy: Many people see the end results of success—like celebrities who seem to have it all—but don’t see the failures that came first. They want success without the struggle or uncertainty.
Hypnotherapy as a solution for fear of failure
Hypnotherapy is often overlooked in favour of traditional psychotherapy. The results, however, speak for themselves. I have seen many people leave behind loops and stuck patterns which have plagued them their whole lives.
The most important thing to consider is that no amount of rationalising helps people with deep-seated beliefs about themselves because these beliefs are held in the unconscious mind. Hypnosis can speak to that part of your mind in a way it can process.
Most importantly, this often happens quickly and doesn’t involve unearthing and fixating on painful past events. Normally, I only need between 1 and 3 sessions.
Learn more about my rapid and transformative approach to hypnotherapy or book a free discovery call